Their are way to many moments in my life that it just seems that if I open my mouth it just goes bad. Now a days I never understand what passes people off or what alienates them. It always makes me wonder what does it take to just have your own needs, to get some straight talk, I’m tired of getting to a point where things get ugly and I’m always apologizing for things that can easily be fixed with talking. That always seem so to be the one thing that people refuse to do now a days, just talk. If anyone including family says something I don’t like we have an adult conversation. So where are the adults at? Who really understands this need? The need to talk without judgement, it just not there anymore.
I look at this picture now that I’m doing a lot more work just to start up conversation, I don’t work in phx anymore and you just want anyone to remember that you exist. Life is a huge game of get noticed, getting lost in any and everything that shines and I don’t want that, cause I don’t want to live under unrealistic expectations of what it’s like to have your own. Some days you need to be your own best friend, cause knowing what you want and being realistic about it is what counts. The saddest thing is that we just don’t see that bigger picture, I get tired of people giving up and going dark at the first thing they don’t like. So I know I have to be enough.