Its the start of a new year, I don’t want to spend that time just wondering where my life is going and how I play into it. I realize that I have been caught up in the emotional tornado that is life, it can pick you up and throw you around. I think I wonder when I will really work on me and give myself a chance at actual survival. What this year should mean to me, that i don’t get myself caught up in more epic levels of racism. Just because the world has gone off the deep end i should not be ready to stand in line with everyone, peace i wonder where that is actually at?

I woke up this morning at the grocery store of life, everything at my finger tips and not exactly clear as to what is going to go in my shopping cart. I know I need to check my shopping list again. Everything i have been putting into cart has not really worked out for me. One choice at a time, that is what it is going to take.

I have not made one choice that I did not see it going bad because I put it in rotation, I will not make myself grow into a better person, I have to want to be that person, for me its going to have to be a want. I will not type these words like a vow and stick to it. I desire love believe it or not in this go out and get it climate. Life is tireless work of energy and reward, effort and maintenance, confidence and determination to see that pot of gold flow over until you cant carry it anymore.

I’ am so guilty of not reaching my full potential, for being drastically lazy, I was not put on this earth to just feel like killing over and dying. I don’t want my figurative house to look like a flat billboard, I want four walls and love inside of it. So grow and adapt is what i will have to do. The truth is that 2016 is going to be a harder year than this one, things are bad and they continue to escalate, Things in life are harder to find and harder to keep, I wonder when it will fall apart,  I am not going to pretend that I don’t see what direction things are going in, yet wall this time I have sacrificed so much to still end up empty handed.

“2016 raise your head.”


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