There are times when I found that I can quite possibly not be the best person to articulate my opinion, that is fine to me and that works. I understand that not everyone that I at one point have a reoccurring hookup that I really should not be talking to after that. Yeah that defeats the purpose of meeting someone of some general substance and seeing where it goes.
Me I am that Scorpio, that wears his emotions and like Grey’s Anatomy my heart tends to be in my penis, I am working on the transplant for that. Not to long ago I had this ok threesome, and to be honest cause you can’t always choose to be that way in real life, I just wanted to post my thoughts right here. For some there is always a say something not say something moment and that’s cool.
So here is my problem, after telling one of the guys I don’t bottom cause I was not about to let this guy fuck me, one it was supposed to be a spit roast, and two I was not into the other guy fucking me. Here is why I saw his dick game and I was like nope…I had been sucking on his nipples and lubing his cock into a hand job but he was really into how I was at his nipples, trust me its a tip and gift don’t knock it until you try it, men love that too not all but some. So we get into it and its going ok, until someone comes buy and we have to get dressed and it was a whole thing for a minute. When we get to the point that we finished I got my clothes ready super quick and got the hell out, I did not want to exchange numbers with a dude trying to fuck a crater into my ass.
Later I am talking to the dude who invited me over, and to me I was giving him props for taking a pounding the way he was and enjoying it, he happens to like rough sex, I don’t its not my speed or sex appeal. It just so happens that apparently without me knowing he is taking offence to a comment about me not wanting a guy to murder my ass. He said it was a dumb thing to say and the timing was fucked up, so I said sorry and once again I felt pissed off about saying that.
So, then why say it then? Even though he knew what I meant and that he experienced bigger and rougher sexual partners, I am not one of them, and instead of being understanding like I would be in a situation like that, It seriously turned off by wanting to talk to him any further than that. I have gotten fucked by a guy and when they actually do it well sometimes it doesn’t hurt not nearly as bad as it can. It also helped me to realize through that conversation, that’s why we fuck and we are not really friends and I wont develop any further than my dick inside of you.
We judge alot and I see that I drive dangerously, not as responsible as I need to. Talking to him had me feel like pure shit about myself it was not comfortable. In those moments, I feel as though that’s when I want more, I need to get up and want that too. It’s this rat wheel cycle of spinning in suspended animation, no one should want that. I hope to reach better goals soon.