March Rant

Here we go, 32 has been good to me, there has been some needed adult growing, dealing with my sexual addiction to where I am learning about myself, working on how to deal with when I am mean, manic and obsessive about getting laid than ever. NOW here is the problem…..when it comes to sex even when it comes to repeat hookups by name and number or when it comes to random men, I do not play, I don’t, I try to keep this as simple as possible, what is your address and when do you want to do this? I want to give you a eta, and be on my way to you, it should not be this hard, really it shouldn’t.

So then comes it to play the complication, people want to play games, they don’t want to be adult and handle some business, I am not tying to make it complicated, yet having to deal with people who get bored or guess what the person they were trying to get at just hit them up, then let me know, let those people know, don’t be that thot, that when I arrive trying to find your ass you go ghost or you couldn’t be bothered to tell me the difference between a house or an apartment, just on the off chance I may or may not show up, if you have that problem get a persons number, and if you don’t want them to come back have them send it over email, and request that they delete it your number before their ass leaves, problem solved.

Lets slow it down a bit, if it be online or on online apps, not every person you talk to do you owe an obligation to fuck, do not be that person who sets up a meeting and does not follow through, or answers to come off nice when you know you are really not interested in. Your an adult by the land of the law, if you are not interested say so, if you want to just talk say so, it hard to get some ass and it gets real old reading all the jaded ass profiles about don’t waste my time and I wont waste yours. Or I work a lot and I may not be able to get back to you, I hate flakes or fakes, or live in the realm of be close, and I need it now. When I see these replies for sex that have no age, no location, all these childish bullshit antics. Here is what people are on Instafuck, that is what it has turned into now.

Instafuck- People that need to fuck right now, not looking for or waiting for any decent person to rely even if that means they have to wait more than 10 minutes, and have ridiculous sexual expectations, and timelines for sex.

This definition covers the same folks that say they are down to fuck all are welcomed and it becomes and issue or those folks don’t bring in the intended party. Then be the same people that will post where ever else they can to get laid over and over.

So you know quit fucking it up for the rest of us, not everyone else had this problem because they do not tolerate this, and just move on. Yet if you are wondering why you are having a problem with finding something organic, you have not found what you are looking for or you are dealing with the same shit that continues to fester in hooking up and dating. Seeing people people exclaim why is it so hard to find someone, its simple not everyone is honest, people turn into these fucked up individuals who go out of their way to make other people as miserable as themselves. You have a poor chance at coming out on top because the narrative has changed, people are not open to love or the fact that the people they are after may not be the people they are meant to be with.

This is hard, its not something that is easy, for me everything does not have to be perfect to get the results that I am looking for I just want someone to be open to the fact that all you need to be is real, its not that hard, do not settle or reply to who you are not interested in, not every contact is an obligation for anything, that I understand,more people need to understand that, people need to take away power from others who do that, and even though it seems like a hassle, for me I don’t I hold people to an adult standard that I should be.

March Madness

March certainly has some madness added to it, right now I am going on a new avenue to make my life better while also trying to keep depression off me, I do not want to find myself feeling so overwhelmed by things that are simply out of my control. I worry about being so out of touch with the workforce that it takes more effort than i thought would be possible to find work, fill out job applications and overall care about making my life.

I have been in the house longer than i thought would be possible and it has really began to grow on me. My unemployment just stopped again because i did not turn in a quality control packet in timely fashion, also I did not know I needed to have proof of jobs that I applied to, I know that sounds seriously stupid, but what do you do when you are not even given a response back or you delete emails of jobs that are not interested, then what do I do? Right now between looking for work and trying to get my school work done, and deal with the reality of being broke, it does something to me. I feel like hate starts to fester, it takes money for gas, money to further my education, it takes jobs that give a damn to just hire, it also takes embracing the unknown, and i feel to advanced in years to try and deal with the same old problems. I want to become a home inspector and I have paid into it and I want to follow it through i want a new direction, so I have to prove to myself how bad do I want it, how hard will I fight.

Fighting for my future

I am finally making the right moves to improve my future, it feels good to bring my mind into the correct perspective. I want to take responsibility for making my life better why not, I want to be more than just smart, reliable, or intelligent, I would like to make a difference, do something that I love and come to a better understanding of what I can do to improve the quality of life for others.

I want to be more than sex, and fear of trying to have relationships that may end in failure. I know that i know that it happens, I am afraid that, my parents failed marriage somewhat applies to my ability to have healthy functioning relationships. No one should have to live detached, yet i seem to be doing that a lot. Life does not have to be lived in fear, and it should not be lived that way, its how you have regrets with not doing the things you always wanted to, so right now, I am working on blogging again, also changing my life circumstances so that I can have a bright and fulfilling future.