This topic is a bout straight acting and my corresponding feelings on the subject, I understand that people will always feel one way or another on this subject matter, so here is my take I talk about adult subjects in adult language and sex is right up in it, understand that what I write may not be for you, thank you for reading.
What is this deal with straight acting, I feel it has become a life of its own, upon me the gay community and how “straight acting” has taken on a life of its own. For most if not all of my life I have just been lost on the concept of sleeping with women, the whole transition of I can have the “D” but also come home to the “P” and have no guilt whatsoever about who I have sex with, why, because I could have it all, and even if I was more attracted to guys then I was with women I could always keep my options open, who would not love that?
Then we really have to come to the perspective, that gay men live in this atmosphere of straight acting, like the second they settled on a penis that their masculinity became invalid. Tell me what is the point of being a full on gold or silver star gay man if you have to be straight acting, that is the community motto? That is Palm Springs that is the new White Party? No, the more I had some time to self-reflect on how I am living my truth, my life and I will be completely honest, sex addiction aside, I want “the pussy” yes I said it, in Lafayette True Blood voice, yes in all that glory. Baby I have been on my back with a guy eating me out having my eyes roll back and I have been totally thinking about how this feels on a woman, are her breasts to my liking, do we have kids, a nice house and is our marriage stable? Mind you the sex was defiantly on point, for me I know talking like that pisses people off.
When people are not all in for the community it is a national scandal, you cannot be that gay man trying to sleep around with woman, it’s as though you are breaking your gay vows. I do not understand this, yet there are a good number of things about people and their sexual personalities that I do not get. I understand this notion though, I am getting laid and I know that I don’t have to worry about catching feelings because when we are straight acting there is very little truth to who you or I have to be. We fuck and you leave, no number no kik, snapchat, or twitter on this. When I am over here wondering why I a relationship alludes me is because I am too busy not living my truth, that I envelope a level of insecurity that is at the top of the totem pole of who we think we are. Not everyone needs to prove I am still one of the good o’l boys because I can still have woman fall all over me, and give her a false sense of hope, well congratulations on that.
When I sit here writing this out, I look at straight acting as a high sense of entitlement, that I have a new tool to berate those that don’t measure up. Masculinity has always been on the attack, part of the war path. There are times that I feel that I am not allowed to learn or explore what heterosexuality means to me and how it can be a real part of my life. I am too busy trying to pass of as straight, yet that is a problem that has never been corrected, it is one thing to have layers to the LGBT community, yet it is so fractured. It is one thing to have these letters stand for something, but now it feels like they want to stand for themselves, break off and but as much distance as possible and have no bad press associated with it.