Sex is different now not with the want or need but more of who is a right fit and how do I look at sex now. Am I still looking for a partner or a smash and go?
I wonder if I can handle one, will I get in the way of what I want and need? There have been a very few men who left an actual impression with me, that really needs to change and I feel like I need to change as well not because it’s a new year, it’s because I know I am simply not satisfied with where I am at in life.
What am I looking for what do I need? For instance I think about having sex with my therapist semi regularly, at times I wonder why, it gets me to slow down and reason, when I talk to my therapist, when I can be open and talk and have an one ended exchange that has non of his personal business to some small effect out there, I still feel heard and safe so I come to the conclusion we’re not haveing sex, our sessions are of an open and intimate nature that it gives me security that I don’t have in my life, that has been lacking and that’s what my therapist means to me, that’s how it translates due to my sexual addiction.
Also it changes me mood someone I could not wait to have sex with getting to know them at times killed my mood to have sex with them and that’s sad, cause that makes me look at the fact if I can successfully move past sex and strive for a relationship.