Past 30 and gay

Navigating these waters happen to be getting difficult, I really can’t seem to catch a break and everything has changed, so much has changed. The internet is not really the place to meet people anymore. Every one has an excuse, when folks don’t like a situation they bail out, and if people do that with sex then imagine trying to date someone. 

People barely talk as it is, I keep giving them the benefit of a doubt and the fail right on time. The good thing about my life now is that I am at an age where to much has happened to me and I don’t care, I will not be bothered with people and situations I have no power over. Those words are true for a reason. For me it’s not about the fact of what people are saying is true or not. I just don’t care and I refuse to be bothered by what people will or won’t do or how they represent themselves. It’s true it’s the people not the community at times.

Now going back to the community there is such a toxic element in it that is just making it really bad, the colorism and the ageism, are two big factors. It has not changed in fact it has gotten worse. Filtering out people based on color is NOT a preference, again NOT a preference. Hair color, eye color, height, age, body type, cut uncut are preferences. Even though I don’t like the ageism either, but when people will mess around with a willing married person I really have to question people’s thinking.

The community would be a whole lot better if it learned to communicate and stop playing games. The more I learn, the more I realize that talking to people face to face has so many benefits to it. Just knowing how people feel and knowing and feeling that there is no real expectation for sex unless it’s offered. So I have gone to this place called Flex I have enjoyed it because it’s an atmosphere that I can be myself and not feel judged, I know that not everyone will be attracted to me but I don’t care, it’s the organic nature of being in someone’s company that really helps, that takes a degree of the hurt away. 

We have become a community of hurt and not the community that was originally started out as. People filter their own existence away, people just don’t represent themselves with the pride they say they have and they have taken that away from so many other people as well. It’s looks not substance, not personality, but superficial aires. People treat themselves like plastic surgery cutting away flaws they don’t want for themselves or other people.

AGE

Most things found on these apps is that there is a cut off limit to atractivness and apparently it’s 30. Strangers in passing are still astounded that I look young for 33 I do I know I do and when I want to I can shave off my facial hair or my chest hair and let my youth shine through, but is that really being myself or is that playing to an advantage that helps me out? To be honest it’s an advantage, yet I hate that my attraction is limited to my age, it’s narrow and immature. Granted I also love how the community has a wide range of folks with various interests when it comes to men, still the focus should be on interests not all of these basic tropes, that people are lost on. It’s yes foolish and very childish, people have grown in to a deep hole of me first and screw everyone else. We miss experience and opportunities to learn about people and who they are and why this community is as a whole. People are comfortable and that is a very dangerous pedestal to be sitting on, it can lead to a equally dangerous fall. That’s why I don’t stay with these apps long because they kill me emotionally inside, and year after year it’s the same faces looking but not finding what they are looking for.

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