You make me miserable, you do not work, I feel like I am running on empty. Every time I swear my kind there you come where I am at, making see that I can’t escape , making see all the things I can’t get, to bait me, to make me miss it, want it, surrender, just like that.
I am never happy I feel dragged down, if I could cut my arms and bleed my desire out I would, until I cold lifeless, the same temperature of an arctic winter.
I want to cut off my skin, I don’t feel safe, I feel betrayed in it, I feel insecure, I feel hollow, dark, dank, and sinking.
Paralyzed, and I just want to be left alone, what I want does not exist. I want to burn my feelings out of me with all my might, I want to feel nothing, nothing at all.
It takes make strength to want to run to care to run, yet I need to, yet I have to.