Down day continued

I am really feeling it, my emotions dulling down sadness, yet I woke up feeling anger a whole bed to myself, people run free and happy. It kills my vibe, instantaneously, my emotions go and my interest goes with it, fun, happiness, activities, living, they go out the window. I forgot my IPhone ear phones again, now I can’t listen to podcasts to try and offset my mood, I am quite upset about that. 

We still say that if we can’t love ourselves then how do we expect others, well it’s interesting how we stay for abuse and hope it turns into love. Being single is a stigma in this country, there is always something wrong with what you don’t have instead of being happy with what you could attain. 

I can’t be myself in a world that needs to change, what is the point of changing myself just to gripe about the problems, and situations that still need to be adjusted. It’s not about these awesome memes that talk about being alone because you don’t want to deal with other people’s games and crap and yet, we don’t ask for better we just drift along with the contaminants in the water.

Next to nothing makes me happy anymore, it’s saddening, emotionally scaring. At the end of the day people won’t step up. 

I used to dream of embracing who I really am, but you grow up get realistic and drown all of your dreams in a tub until they stop moving and just float, so I can dry my hands off and walk into another room like my dreams never existed. It’s apple that you expect to choke to death on, to just close your eyes and hope this nightmare fades into non existent times when you can let it feel like dejavu but pay it no heed. That’s life for some not for all. 

This world is a demonic specter, that creeps on your shadows waiting, lurking in safe spaces, to pull you down ankles first.

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