I don’t know when, I don’t know how…
I look out of the narrow tall window
Nothing to see but an empty space
People that come in and out of view
Vehicles in and out in a single blink.
Hand through my hair, this smell unfamiliar
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts
I touch my skin, is this even mine can it be mine
To breathe in to breathe out
Is it hope in depression out
Is it depression in hope out
Or is it all just covered over by anger
I think I forgot to know the difference.
When the mouth speaks words have meaning
What I write is what I feel
What I say is what I feel
It’s an emotional deal.
It’s hard to think straight to not get swept down stream.
I feel like I have been daydreaming
Why am I in this hole
Who is that with the words sex written all over him
I am being buried by that same figure
Of wait he looks like me
Smile child smile
The truth is up to your knees
If I hurry maybe I can finally climb out
It looks so far up, maybe it’s been in my head
The whole situation has always been just waist deep.
I could walk out at anytime.
The bodies, yes the bodies of my lust
Their grip is as strong as death
They won’t be denied they won’t be deterred
They won’t stay buried
They won’t return love
They corrupt my skin
They corrupt my heart
They won’t die off they won’t stay down
They have all the strength in the world to drag me down.
Hands all over me, I feel no pain, I feel desire
I feel sick with lust in all the wrong places
This is my love sick, sex sick, addiction
That line between hot bodies and cold connections
Every time I say no I feel the hands
The long injection of lust, to feed to hunger
In my veins in goes
The light feels dimmer
Almost buried alive lost and forgotten
My hand reaches out, can I claw out
To be continued…