Learn from what I have been trying to tell you. Every time I get into that trench I fight a war, a war you don’t have to fight, yet through it I am learning endurance,  I don’t need people to agree with how I feel, I have been the one alone, I have been the one loosing, I have been the one who has to get back up and pick up my own emotions and duck for cover hiding in shame.

I told you before and I feel like you still don’t get it, I chose my Christianity for me, it doesn’t make me less gay at all. I know I am and I will make my piece with it. I am not a part of Christianity that is a cancer and plague to what it really stands for, and I will dash people to pieces who think they can continue to rub it in the mud with their blood money and satanic ideals. Maybe you didn’t hear me when I said gay men were trash and have continued to be so, they are not the ones picking me up, they are not there when I am depressed and down and need someone, they are just too vain to notice, they are just the people I fuck and apparently will be nothing more than that until I can just move on in piece from that. That is what the community has turned into and there are not enough people who can stop them and turn it around.

Understand and read my words clearly, I am who I need to be of my own choosing.

STD’s APPS and the finger

Recently there has been a swell of talk in reference to Apps and if they are the cause of STD’s and people catching them. I will keep this simple and plain. Wear a condom, an app will help you find a person on the fly. If you get to your destination and you don’t have a condom, and they don’t and you manage to have that 60 seconds or less conversation of when is the last time you had sex, and hopefully no flags go off, and your feeling a go 70-80% about this person and it goes down, we have to own that, we need to own that. Not the Tinder, Grinder, or what ever occupies our time is responsible for not screening people. There is a window where the infection is in play and you have a serious chance of bee lining right into it.

Can we be adult now? Even if you choose to omit that maybe you were on a roll one week or one month, that there has been a lapse in our personal response to wrapping it up? Have you been hit, been a repeat doctor visit offender? When articles like this come out, that tells me that we need to get organic, talk before we hump, no I’m serious about this. This is not just out to the Hiv community this is a global roll call, No one wants to be that person, let alone that repeat offender. What this should help us really see and meditate on is that we need to ask ourselves and I being safe? Do I have some dependency on others to provide a condom? Could I just be too trusting taking others at face value? Do I still feel invincible when i should be looking for red flags, or protecting myself more?

All in all, when we take away accountability, place it on who helped me the person who burned me, then people loose their right to justifiable free speech, meaning you condemn in hypocrisy, not because we as people get around, its that we do but pass the buck and walk away at the end of the day.