God is not trying to bless America you blood guilty hypocrites

If you think candles and singing God bless America is going to get you blessings and favors you have lost your damn mind.

Why would God want to bless a country who won’t lift a finger to quit murdering their own people and shrugging their shoulders about it. Guns are your idols and Gods, so who are you praying to, I know who it is, it’s the devil.

Your God is the NRA, and your hands are drenched in blood, you protect your god with all your might, and commit genocide in its name.

What business do any of you have to be out their to petition God for a blessing from this sin? 59 people died, 500+ people are injured. One man and a weapon that normal citizens have no business possessing.

No amount of candles or singing will wipe the blood off of any of you! To argue so hard to be so selfish to have every weapon that people can get their hands on has not worked, it has killed more people.

That’s how this works, break records, many dead bodies, debate, candles, pray, forget, and repeat.

People are monsters and it’s more apparent that race, and fear play a major role when it comes these issues. The bottom line is that guns are more important than people and that the second amendment is now more powerful than the first.

God and Jesus have left this country a long time ago, why would they want to help the people of the lands I reside on, when they have no empathy for anyone other than themselves.

Advertisements

Almost 30 sober

Yesterday I came close to sex but it didn’t happen and for once, I just didn’t care or get upset at all, it’s just a test that will keep coming every once and a while. Still the problem is, that I wanted it and was willing to go for it.

It just didn’t happen and I feel that I am better for it. It feels easier and I don’t loose my mind trying to hook up with folks or fight situations that are just not worth it.

So I am going for the sober route and also putting my libido on the shelf as well , so that’s not bad, I think if I focus more on intimacy I should be alright and I can put a smile on my face.

Rest In Peace

Hayes

Found hung, it was a message I had to read from the mother of his daughter. So young so tender in years that she will never get to grow up with her father in her life. Life has been hard on him and have a record and getting past that is not easier either. It gets hard to hold back the tears and taking time out to say the things that needed to be said.

I feel this entire world failed him. We are always told to pull ourselves up, but let’s be honest, it’s against so many people and it’s too easy to give people a reason shut people down, force them to give up. I have never been in his position or wonder what was going on in his mind that death was the answer.

I understand it, when you get to a place that you would rather be dead than feel like you failed your child, maybe that was it, I don’t know because unfortunately I did not know him like that, I did not invest in him like I should have.

8/16/2017

There is so much craziness going on in the world.

Trump and his mouth

Trump has been vocal since Obama was president and now Trump has been looking very weak, and showing the very core nature of how he is and what he believes. I am not surprised when he comes out under duress to do something he does not want to do, if that is how he feels he should not have become president, he should have minded his own business and moved on.

He is officially the worst president in the history of this country and has made previously bad ones from 1 year to 8 years look better than previous. When history looks upon Trump I hope they see how his very nature further corrupted a country.

So this “both sides, many sides” rhetoric is trash. When these terrorist came out and started attacking people the night before they were about trouble like their predecessors, let’s be truthful, side by side comparison.

He bullied his way into office and showed the very savage nature that has been fostered in people for generations. He doesn’t look presidential he looks defeated and vacations way to much. Everyone who gets involved with him must be stressed and drinking because the amount of crowd control they do is titanic.

Charlottesville

All about a racist preservation of horrible ideology. Which seems to be the biggest oxymoron for when some Americans say that slavery is over that we’re past racial issues. You can’t be over something that still exists and is in your backyard. People died others were critically injured and for Trump to be in the office of presidency and won’t bring himself to not be corrupt or be a human being for one moment is something that all I can do is give the side eye emoji 😒 and roll on. It’s called “The United States of America” what part of that do people don’t understand 🤔?

People still talking about their views should still be heard, you loose that right when you come out like a mob of terrorist with tiki torches and chanting like they are ready for battle. Then the next morning they came out with guns, and shields and clubs and beat people, shot off tear gas, and also used a Dodge Charger to commit vehicular manslaughter. That right there alone tells me there is nothing that needs to be talked about. Everything dealing with the Confederate needs to go away and become a mute subject forever.

#NoConfederate deal with it

Many people have taken serious issue with shutting down a show on HBO that has been green lit by two white producers with two black writers. The premise of this show is that the confederate won and now it's being brought to modern day.

Here is where there is a serious problem with this, apparently people have not been paying much attention to the fact that most of this system in America is still against black people from education to voting and just about everything in between.

Time after time if it has not been with movies it has been with shows and awards shows that has shown, white creators are too slow and resistant to change in this country and that people of color are not going to swallow a pill and go back into the matrix, it's not happening.

Donald Trump is the live action manifestation of why a show like this should not take place, where black people still get shot by police, or are the police and get villanized for the same actions white officers have done.

Here is the reality the trust is gone and I for one will not support a crap terrorist show like Confederate which has ties with the KKK, a terrorist organization. It's dumbfounding that for people who can talk about race, want to drag black people into a show where all the dreams of the past come true. Funny I thought this was the "United States" I thought we were getting over slavery?

This is the most divisive program that they could think of and have Beyoncé hell for her super bowl performance. Yet people still to this day think it's ok to terrorize black people and that's ok? That is not something I want to watch, when I can watch it for free on the news.

Or here hear about how 12% of black people are involved in crimes (hard eye roll). The fact that people are surprised that the black community are trying to shut it down before it gets off the floor, really don't know or understand black people at all and that's ok, because we know that a majority of you are not even trying.

If you don't understand that black and confederate are a no go then, that's your problem and it says way to much about the ignorance that is white society and the indoctrination it has over many people today.

HBO needs to grow and get smarter about its business practices, this was not just appalling but grossly inappropriate. Trump is the reason why we have Confederate, it is the rotten stench of trash that has plagued this country and black people for far to long and it needs to stop, it needs to go away it needs to not exist.

It's plainly evident that white content creators are obsessed with slavery down to this day. That they want to continue and keep alive the same terrorism that existed before we had to deal with ISIS, that's what this show looks like.

For the people who think we want or need this or would go out and promote white slavery, we are not stuck in the past like you are, there is a future and we see ourselves in it, so why your too busy creating content from comics to sci-fi, it's amazing how much of that imagination doesn't include us and that's a mistake on your end not ours.

7/18/2017

I am feeling the struggle, sexual frustration of life and it’s not a good feeling at all. Things are weird in my life, and I working on trying to get to a better place. Just have to keep moving as best as I can. 

Eric, if your still out there I am sorry that I got mad, said a number of things out of anger and I miss you.

Life feels like hoarders, your always moving from some sort of trash in life to get to the other side.

Emotions, know better

I played myself, I let that sinister anime smile come out, I convinced myself that speaking out is what I should do. Yet do I have the strength to stay in my lane when I need to. People talk to me about letting their demons out, foolishness, you have never acquainted yourself with evil to understand it. It’s not just a construct about the human condition or the rage one feels. 

It’s not just danger or the fight or flight method. If we call our emotions demons then I have many levels and have only unleashed lesser demons. Never the big ones, I don’t use those to fight I use those for the slaughter when my lips release fatal embraces. A tongue hotter than melted metal. Lips that invite danger and air swift and corrosive.

I know that about me and against my better judgement went into battle when I shouldn’t have and betrayed myself to my old nature. How can I grow, when this old skin feels so tight, I am an insult to my own progress. I am slow, I am slow, I am slow, to take beneficial medication and walk away. 

I have a fight and that is not it, yet my emotional demons seek to change me back and the guilt is my own. Foolishness again upon me, how long will I continue ignorant to visible signs of danger? When will I get moving off this road? Will I choose to be strong enough to let go, will I choose the honeycomb or the snakes bite? Have I lost my ability to discern the difference?

Time is short to find a way out and things in this world are changing, so I should never forget which side of the fence I should be on, and where I was today was not the one.

What I fail to see what we could fail to see, is that all of this time all of this fighting is as empty and hollow as calories of victory, always wanting more and never satisfied. I won’t fight for that so I need to remember what is worth me time. If I must fight, fight for something with justification and meaning.

When people are not getting the message

So I follow a variety of people on social media. Now what I need to do is not tap in and at times take my own advice about moving along. Now here is my problem, white folks say they want to make America better for everyone, yet they want to dictate how it happens, they say stop spreading racism, which their definition is name calling. 

So then new tool used by white Americans is your racist, it’s this new age taking point also couples by tag in a friend for a tech lynching on social media, because I said something to you and my friend is free to jump in. The only thing that tells me and what I have seen is this, you have a degree in talk solution not action solution. What I would like people to understand, is that enough of white folks are not making enough headway, it’s like your not even trying, and not everyone is going to explain it to you, that is a fault of your people for not caring. 

I get tired of seeing how many people are ready to argue at a point that a person of color makes and it’s usually by personal experience. When I can get called racist from an overwhelming amount of white peoples who voted for Trump, that tells us that the race war is still on and we don’t plan on changing our ways. People like to play the victim card and double down on what people of color have been doing and saying and how much of a front they take our tone, but your not going out there and addressing the problems, or bothering to lay down the foundation. 

People are trying, the point is you call for back up to defend your honor instead of looking at the big picture. So here is the honest truth. White folks have ground to cover and it’s not going to be easy. Yet that is your yoke to bare, not people of color. 

Also it’s amazing that all the while your steady calling any person non-white with a opinion you don’t like racist, have you ever let it cross your mind that it’s into response as to how people have been treated? You can make America a better place when you stop arguing with us and listen and accept that we are people trying to live. 

When you think it’s about revenge, and you bring out that talking point that is your way of not wanting to do a thing to fix the problems that exist. That says you were never interested, you don’t listen and your not aware of what’s going on. That what is the most disappointing thing in all of this, your feelings come first, like they always have.

The most frustrating thing is that it’s these majority people I come across that think and act with these old white ways make white peoples making a real difference look bad and makes progress slow, I know I have said this, but this is the facts. 

I did not choose which society or class or race of people that I was born into, yet it never absolves me of doing better or being better, something that wasting energy arguing with that kind of people has taught me they are not about change or putting in the work.  The people who are listen and find ways to make things better.

What will help me is staying away from those talking points yet it’s hard when that’s where it is. 

I know I can’t talk to people when they are ready to deflect with your a racist with no real context at all…I am done.