Changing phones and not remembering your log in or passwords can be a complete pain. Plus I loss myself, I found out during that gap of time that I am a sex addict…which explains so much of the emotional trauma I inflicted upon my life because I lived in fear of my reality, my reality consists of coming to terms with hiv and how to live healthy and navigate live wanting to be in the light. What do I mean by that. It’s about living my truth and not feeling like it’s the end of the world.
Social Media is not always a healthy outlet and their is life outside of that. I still see small advancement in people educating themselves on hiv, and there are people who still bring stigma to the LGBTQIA+ community (whew that feels longer every time) and it’s not fair. More and more people are standing in their truth and I couldn’t be more jealous. If you put yourself out there in the beginning or have a great community around you or fortitude of steel, it gets hard, and even I feel left behind. I can’t wait anymore I am almost 40 in a few years and I am just finding my stride in a whole pandemic. Yet I have never had more fear of wanting to love myself more, have the tough conversations without getting in my own way.
I am glad for this gap because I knew I was not in a place to where what I wrote was going to mean something for me. I hope I bring a better message between now and 2022, let’s see what happens.